I am a food addict. I don't mind admitting it. I eat when I am happy, sad, lonely, bored and any other emotion you could think of. The hardest part about being a food addict is you can't take food away like drugs or alcohol. Your body has to eat to survive. Sometimes I really wish that my body didn't require food to stay alive. It's a never ending battle. That battle will never be over for me, even after surgery. I have to constantly think about when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat and is it the right thing to eat. Before surgery was almost easier, because I could just shut the thinking off and enjoy eating. Although that is kind of a lie, because I was always thinking about food before too, just in different ways. That is why the surgery was a must for me. I knew that if I just got a little bit of help I could be successful.
Since surgery, I have been consuming under 1000 calories a day. For the first two weeks under 500 calories a day. I seriously thought I would feel deprived, but I don't. That has been really nice! I started eating pureed foods on Monday the 24th of June. It's been really nice to eat pasta and meat again! I can't even describe how nice! lol
After gastric bypass some people have difficulties with nausea and vomiting and food intolerances. I was really hoping not to have issues like this and so far, I've had no issues other than lactose intolerance which I already knew I had. I did eat too many grits the other day at a restaurant and felt uncomfortable for about an hour, but that was it. And by too many I mean I took a couple bites more than I should have. You see, I can only eat 4 ounces or 1/2 a cup of food at one time. To a normal person that may seem like a tiny bird portion, but to me it's just right. In the mornings after not eating all night during sleep, my stomach/pouch is smaller and holds less food, so if I overdo it in the morning it can get uncomfortable. The rest of the day I can eat the full 1/2 cup amount which is the perfect amount of food to satisfy me.
I feel so blessed to have gotten this surgery! It's an amazing feeling to be able to survive on so little food. Occasionally I do miss the sweets and fatty foods, but I know the longer I go without them the less I'll crave them. Since my body no longer tolerates those foods, I won't be able to poison my body with them any longer. I feel hopeful for the future. I know my body will have plateaus and losing the amount I weight I have to lose will be difficult at times, but I feel that I've prepared really well and I have lots of support.
To those who are thinking about doing weight loss surgery, make sure you think about why you eat and if you could handle the changes you would have to make before and after surgery. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, however I know the rewards will be great, and that is what keeps me going and gets me up in the mornings!
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